At the start of last week I was at lady’s house and noticed that she had peonies coming up, and I was overwhelmed with a mix of emotions. I did not know that stupid peonies would trigger those feelings nor did I know how to deal with them. Brad and the kids gave me peonies for Mother’s Day and we planted them in the rose garden at our Durango home. I had three bushes and they were absolutely beautiful!
The first time I ever noticed peonies was at a sweet older couples house. They had a beautiful yard, garden, and flowers that were kept to perfection. We were blessed to spend a lot of time with them when we were in Durango. They were like the kid’s great-grandparents! An amazing couple and a great example of marriage, hard work, dedication, and determination.
When we were preparing to move, and for a long time after we were here, every day was sad. Every day was sad and oh so heavy. To my kids a normal day was with mom crying and them offering so much love and support. Now that we have been here for almost 2 1/2 years every day is less sad and heavy, but there are still those days. Most days I am extremely grateful for the move, for new friends, and for the people my family and I are becoming . However, there are still those harder days and weeks and last week was one of them!
Things I miss:
- My parents, siblings, and their families
- My mother-in-law
- Our friends
- Familiarity
- Mary’s roses
- My peonies
- Our rhubarb plants
To sum everything up, I still have extremely hard days! Our second meeting with the mediator, he told us to prepare for a divorce! Not Brad and I but from the occupation we had for years, and for Brad his whole life. That’s exactly what happened! Brad and I were completely broken and torn down to our core. However, we fight every day to make a new place to call home. We continue raising cows and raising our amazing children!
So, remember if you’re having a bad day, there’s tomorrow. And if it doesn’t feel better there is the day after that. Eventually, it will get better. At least that’s my experience. This week I’ll get a bouquet of peonies to help.
